I went out last night. That’s why you didn’t hear from me. I went straight from mommy time to networking time and then came home and went straight to bed. I think it’s a bad idea to write after you’ve had a few drinks, so please know, if I am out, there shall be no post.
This is the second non-profit social media gathering I have attended/hosted since I left my job. Both times it has been awkward for me to handle the standard introductions. I am used to networking with a clear purpose. When I had a job, it was to promote the YWCA and what I do there. Before that, in the bleak Spring of ’09, it was to get a job. Any time I can remember (there may have been a few nights where I don’t remember much) I had a clear answer as to why I was there talking to people. Hi, my name is Harmony and I am a designer and I kick ass and I think you should want to work with me.
I suppose I could say that now too, but my heart is just not in it. Frankly I am afraid that people will want to work with me, because I don’t want to work at all right now. Let me tell you, I am no where near ready to start being accountable to anyone and I am really glad that I still have 53 days buffer against that (if that is even enough). I get paranoid that you will think I’m lazy. Let’s just get that out there right now. People have called me a lot of things in my career, and lazy has never been one of them. Yet, people’s memories are short and I don’t want to shut myself out of the game completely.
The second reason why I have a hard time with people asking, “so where do you work? Pause [my answer: Nowhere.]. Um well, what do you want to do?” is that I don’t really know yet. I can do a lot of things. At my last job my accomplishments went far beyond my title. Which of them will I want to focus on? I don’t know. I have to thank Laura Kimball for having the guts to just shun titles all together. They really are meaningless these days, especially in marketing and communications.
Still, what the hell do I say? I have at least one more of these events to attend before the end of my 100 days. I want to be a little more clear on this next time. I haven’t even updated my Linked-in profile. It is still frozen in time – is that wrong? I know that when you update those things it get’s everyone’s attention, so I want to make sure it’s meaningful. I’ll have to do some research and see what others who work for no one are doing. Right now nothing feels right.
Something tells me that the party is over and the hard work is just about to begin.