Day 47: Mi – a name I call myself

Me, the sweet Bevin Wong from Seattle Works, and a lady having more fun than us. - Thanks David Sharp for taking pictures with me in them.

I went out last night. That’s why you didn’t hear from me. I went straight from mommy time to networking time and then came home and went straight to bed. I think it’s a bad idea to write after you’ve had a few drinks, so please know, if I am out, there shall be no post.

This is the second non-profit social media gathering I have attended/hosted since I left my job. Both times it has been awkward for me to handle the standard introductions. I am used to networking with a clear purpose. When I had a job, it was to promote the YWCA and what I do there. Before that, in the bleak Spring of ’09, it was to get a job. Any time I can remember (there may have been a few nights where I don’t remember much) I had a clear answer as to why I was there talking to people. Hi, my name is Harmony and I am a designer and I kick ass and I think you should want to work with me.

I suppose I could say that now too, but my heart is just not in it. Frankly I am afraid that people will want to work with me, because I don’t want to work at all right now. Let me tell you, I am no where near ready to start being accountable to anyone and I am really glad that I still have 53 days buffer against that (if that is even enough). I get paranoid that you will think I’m lazy. Let’s just get that out there right now. People have called me a lot of things in my career, and lazy has never been one of them. Yet, people’s memories are short and I don’t want to shut myself out of the game completely.

The second reason why I have a hard time with people asking, “so where do you work? Pause [my answer: Nowhere.].  Um well, what do you want to do?” is that I don’t really know yet. I can do a lot of things. At my last job my accomplishments went far beyond my title. Which of them will I want to focus on? I don’t know. I have to thank Laura Kimball for having the guts to just shun titles all together. They really are meaningless these days, especially in marketing and communications.

Still, what the hell do I say? I have at least one more of these events to attend before the end of my 100 days. I want to be a little more clear on this next time. I haven’t even updated my Linked-in profile. It is still frozen in time – is that wrong? I know that when you update those things it get’s everyone’s attention, so I want to make sure it’s meaningful. I’ll have to do some research and see what others who work for no one are doing. Right now nothing feels right.

Something tells me that the party is over and the hard work is just about to begin.

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5 thoughts on “Day 47: Mi – a name I call myself

  1. First off, thanks for the mention, Harmony 🙂

    Second, we’re overdue for some coffee soon. And, yes, unfortunately the party is almost over cause now’s probably the time to start thinking about where you want to be when your 100 days are up, and I want to put an emphasis on the “you.”

    You’re on the right track through this blog and by putting what you really think and feel out there. Really lady, I admire you.

  2. I was about to say that the party *isn’t* over, Laura!

    Harmony, I think there is just a different type of party that you will be off to, whether you are invited or are crashing. Being in a slightly similar place, the discomfort comes from not having a convenient label. And our culture loves labels! “I work for ___” works. “Stay at home mom” works. “Consulting” works. But taking 100 days or more to center myself, to take care of my self, to figure it out, and yes that means that there are going to be financial stresses and yes my daughter is at home sometimes but also at school and yes, I can work but am not… that is not a bumper sticker. But isn’t that the real thing? And aren’t interesting conversations coming out of this? And maybe a different you (a *more* interesting you is certainly NOT possible!).

    Keep doing. It is beautiful to see.

    • deedeemama says:

      I think I do want to try and fit that on a bumper sticker, or maybe a calling card. You are right though it does make for some interesting conversations! Thanks for all the support!

  3. Sheri Hauser says:

    “Hi, my name is Harmony and after being a brand design rockstar for YWCA and Fitch, I’m taking 100 days off to kick ass in my personal life. What do you love about your job/company so when I’m done evolving I’ll know if we should touch base again?”

  4. Sherry says:

    I like the suggestions here, especially Sherri’s (100 days to kick ass in my personal life).

    How about: I’m a graphic designer, project manager and kick-ass social media whiz who’s on sabbatical for the first time in my life …, spending fun time with my daughter before she grows up to teenage rebellion. When I go back to work next year …

    I can’t believe how similar our experiences have been. I really feel like you crawled into my head and found things I could never give words/voice to. Keep it up!!!

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