Day 215: To my husband on his birthday

The man I love.

Hiker Tom.

Dear Tom,

Somewhere around day 100, you pointed out to me that, in all that time, I barely wrote about you. And some of what I did write was a bit negative. I couldn’t exactly disagree with you. You and Mel have gotten mentions, but have never been the headliner of any of my posts. My excuse for this is that I am writing about my thoughts, my challenges and my triumphs, and would never assume that I had permission to reveal yours. So, for your birthday, I am going to write an entire post dedicated to my thoughts about you.

Before we met, when I was barely 20 and earnestly in search of true love, I made a list of 18 things I wanted in a man (yes, I am aware that is a lot to expect), and put it away. About a year later, you and I made a connection, and about a year after that, I found that list. I start shaking and tearing up as I read it item by item, realizing that you met every requirement. There was one item, where I failed to describe you. At the time, no one would ever call you punctual.

I wish I could find that list, but I cannot. Instead of trying to recreate it I will make a new one. Here are the 18 most important things I want in a man now, and why I love the one I have:

  1. You weren’t outdoorsy when I met you. Now you have a full backpacking rig, and can operate a water filter, a camp stove, and set up a tent better than I can.
  2. You make your own way at a party, and equitably spread your charm around.
  3. Your commitment to hot yoga has made you more tolerable in… I mean of… hot weather. 😉
  4. Before Angry Birds was invented you didn’t waste a single solitary minute playing video games, and I loved you for that. Now we play Angry Birds together on the iPad and try to beat each others score.
  5. You are an excellent father – a true partner in parenting.
  6. You taught me what intimacy really is, and we have been expanding on the definition ever since.
  7. You are a great travel partner and always remember to pack the things I forgot.
  8. You kindly call me on my shit and yet humor my crazy ideas.
  9. We never run out of things to talk about. Our conversations can move from politics, to cooking, to relationships, to drug culture, to real estate, and before we know it, hours have passed.
  10. You have inherited your father’s ability to craft an excellent pun.
  11. You are really good at drawing tiny schematics on graph paper with mechanical pencils.
  12. You can wail on the bass, guitar, drums, organ, and can play any other instrument you pick up.
  13. When we go to museums, you spend more time with the art, know more about it, and enjoy it more than I do (and I claim to be an artist).
  14. You do manly things like taking out the trash, changing the oil, mowing the lawn, operating the weed dragon, chopping wood, making pancakes on weekends, and being the grill master.
  15. You can talk about sports even though you never watch sports.
  16. You have super-human willpower and restraint.
  17. You have a great laugh – the one where you squint your eyes and open your mouth really wide.
  18. I know, without a doubt, that you really truly love me, because you tell me so, often.

Happy Birthday. I glad you were born. Sometimes, I feel like you were made just for me.

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6 thoughts on “Day 215: To my husband on his birthday

  1. Beth says:

    That is so lovely. Have a wonderful celebration!!

  2. Sherry says:

    what a nice birthday present for Tom.

  3. mrsmoy says:

    Great tribute to Tom. Hope I get to meet this great guy sometime soon!

  4. too sweet – I love reading your posts, so inspiring! happy birthday tom!

  5. OH! MY God!
    I’m in love with my reflection! Just kidding! kind’a…
    Happy Birthday Tom. Here’s to Harmony’s refinement.

  6. […] Yes, it’s hard to believe I have never been a trip with a girl friend. It took quite a bit of memory searching to confirm that this was true. I have gone on trips to visit girl friends. I have gone on school trips that included girls who were my friends. I have met up with girl friends while I was on a trip. I have driven to visit family with female family members. Yet I have never planned, and traveled anywhere with any friend, but my husband Tom. […]

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